Archive | August 2011

I Believe In The Devil

This spoken word piece is absolutely gripping. Art at its finest, to be sure.

The Guilt Dangle

Have you ever been offended, hurt, or mistreated? Of course you have, and you’re not alone. The question is, what can you do about it? How do you make the offending party aware of your feelings and prevent them from ever messing up again? I have developed a method that I’ve found most helpful. You have probably applied this method in some variation before. I call it The Guilt Dangle.

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Beckoning of Responsibility

It’s midnight. He sits in the same post he started the day in. Of course, his day didn’t begin until 1 p.m., but nevertheless, he sits. His eyes, blood-shot and glassy, stare into the horizon. There he finds both enemy and comrade, and one impulsive mistake could turn friend to foe in an instant. His fingers ache, almost arthritic, but he fights for his life, his country. This is no time to focus on pain.

“Cover me!” shouts the voice of a soldier he only knows from his time in the field. He doesn’t know this man’s story. He doesn’t even know his name. All he knows is that they are both fighting for a righteous cause, and for this he would surely lay down his life, even for a stranger. He wipes his brow, stretches his neck, sips his water and marches on.

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Out To Sea


Clarence: Husband to Bethany. Struggling to keep him and his wife alive.

Bethany: Wife to Clarence. Homemaker.

 A husband and wife on a small boat, lost at sea.

Bethany:  Well, now I’m worried.

Clarence:  Why? The waves have finally settled. We’re ok for now.

Bethany:  No, not that Clarence. I have already come to accept the fact that we are             probably going to die out here. I just can’t remember if I cleaned the house before we left.

Clarence:  What? Are you kidding me?

Bethany:  I should think not.

Clarence:  I would blame the water deprivation, or the lack of food, but I think you really are just crazy enough to be thinking about a dusty house right now.

Bethany:  Can you imagine what people are going to think when they enter our house to gather our things, or to set up the estate sale? Do you want them to assume we were slobs? I certainly do not!

Clarence:  You know what? I didn’t think about that. (In a mocking tone) “I used to think Clarence Alan was an upstanding gift to society, and then I saw the dirty underwear on his bathroom floor.” We have to survive! We have to make it back to clean the house!

Bethany:  Finally you understand. Paddle faster, Clarence! Paddle, our reputations depend on it!

Clarence:  Your sick. (looks forward, shakes his head, and starts paddling slowly as she splashes behind him frantically)

Pray At Work (Without Getting Fired)

Let’s face it, unless you work for a church, or maybe Chick-fil-A, you don’t get paid to pray on the job. You are there to earn a living and benefit the company. So here are 3 ways to pray at work, without getting fired or creeping people out:

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Like Water For Ignorance

Don’t you hate it when someone drinks half a bottle of water and leaves the rest lying around, especially if you bought it? Huge pet peeve, right? But, you’ve done it too. You’re hanging at a friend’s house and they offer you a water, you happily accept. Through the course of the evening, somewhere in between pillaging the snack table and shouting answers to Catch Phrase, you set your water bottle down and forget it exists. This is not intentional, of course, but that doesn’t matter. You may as well have poured it into their Blu-Ray player while laughing in their face. They paid money for that water, and when you leave they will spend the next several hours picking up the half-empties you and their other loser friends left for dead. What a waste.

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